You Won’t Regret It
I left the house begrudgingly my exhaustion seeping into my bones. I trudged down the street a couple of blocks to the JCC where the pool was. My steps were heavy and about every hundred yards I would stop and think about turning around. I just didn’t have the energy for my mile swim today. I kept going trying to talk myself into the swim knowing I would feel better if I went. As I opened the door to the JCC and looked at the looooong flight of stairs up to the pool area, I had another urge to turn around and go home. Surely I could miss one day of swimming. But I plugged along. Even halfway up the stairs I stopped and considered going home I was so tired. But somehow I managed to talk myself into going the rest of the way.
As I stepped into the locker room I stood for a moment contemplating the effort it would take to get undressed and get my swimsuit on. My hesitancy and exhaustion must have shown because the one woman in the locker room looked up at me and said “You won’t regret it.”
You won’t regret it. That’s all she said and then smiled and went back to getting dressed. But that’s all it took. I thought to myself “She’s right you know. You won’t regret it but you will regret it if you don’t go swimming.” I busied myself getting ready and as the woman left the locker room I said “Thanks.” She just smiled and left.
This happened nearly 30 years ago and I still remember that woman. And whenever I don’t feel like going for the paddle or the swim or the bike ride or the walk that I had planned for my exercise that day, whenever I am so exhausted or settled in for the afternoon or just feel like sh*t and have given myself permission to skip my exercise that day I think of that woman and I say to myself “You won’t regret it.”
And I never have. I have never finished that day’s exercise and said to myself “well that was a waste of time” or “Wow, I feel so much worse. I wish I hadn’t done that.” Never! Every single time I have exercised, that’s 100% of the time I have NOT regretted it. I have felt more energized and happier than when I started. So why is it that exercising is such a difficult thing for me to do on a continuous basis?
Exercise and I have a long love/hate relationship. Over the past 45 years I have tried every sport imaginable, every gym, every class, to try to find an exercise I can do every day. But everything I try I do for about three months and then for whatever reason I lose my motivation and quit. It feels good to do it, I feel better having done it, I like how strong I feel when I am regularly exercising, I sleep better, I eat better but I just can’t seem to maintain.
I distinctly remember one day being on the treadmill at the JCC. The treadmill was facing a large window looking out on the hill behind the JCC. It was a beautiful view but then it hit me - I am inside this smelly gym walking on a treadmill when I could be out in the fresh air hiking the trail along that ridge. I live in one of the most beautiful places in the U.S. and I am walking on a treadmill!! in a smelly gym!! What am I thinking?? I got off that treadmill and I started hiking the hills of Marin County. But as always my enthusiasm didn’t last.
My husband, Jon, has been a runner for as long as I have known him. Every morning, and I mean EVERY morning he gets up and runs. He has been doing this for the 40 odd years we have been married. He never “decides” if he is going to run that morning. He just does. When I asked him how he manages it EVERY day he says “I just do. It’s like brushing my teeth. I get up, I get dressed, I go for a run, I shower . . .”
I hate running. I have tried running at least ten times and have quit every time. I have run with my son Sam, I have run with Jon, I have run alone and I have even run a couple of 5Ks which for me is pretty unbelievable but then for whatever reason I just quit - oh no wait, I know the reason - I hate running.
I like swimming. There is a neighborhood pool across the bridge from our house that is open through September. I have been going religiously every day for the past two months. And as good as I feel swimming so consistently, I can feel my three month slump settling in and know I will only last through September when the pool closes and then it will be over. I’ll quit just like I have every other form of exercise I have been engaged in.
The first and only time I really truly fell in love with a form of exercise was when I started paddling with the outrigger canoe club. I was stoked and paddled at least five times a week, sometimes alone but most often with the team or a friend. So far it is the only form of exercise I have done for more than three months. As a matter of fact I kept with it for about eight years and still paddle although only on weekends.
These are my truths about exercise:
I am more likely to go if I have an exercise “buddy”. It puts the pressure on me to show up and I know they are counting on me to motivate them. (Although I need a buddy who is a bully and will not allow me to call and make my excuses.)
I am more likely to go if I have paid for it. The amount I have paid is in direct proportion to how much more likely I am to go.
I cannot give myself choice. There is no “should I, shouldn’t I”. There is only “I am”.
I must do it the same time every day. It must be on my calendar.
I will never try running again. I don’t have to. That’s my right.
I am much less likely to go if I have to get in the car to get there.
I will not exercise in a gym. It must be outside, in nature, in fresh air.
Therefore in order for me to be successful at an exercise routine I need to pay a lot of money for an outdoor exercise that is not running that I can walk to where I meet up with a bully every day at the same time.
OR I could have a little self discipline and just exercise.
I won’t regret it.