Guided by Spirit not Driven by Ego - part 4

The experience which broke the ties I had to Catholicism happened up in Bear Valley the year we went up there for Christmas.  Bear Valley is beautiful in the winter.  We had some snow and had been sledding in the afternoon of Christmas Eve.  We had decided to go to the 5 pm Christmas Eve mass at the local Catholic church.  I was feeling good.  I was happy.  We had had a great time being outside all day and I was looking forward to going to Mass which was always very important to me on Christmas Eve.  It was one of my favorite times of the year in the Church.  There was one Catholic church in the area.  We arrived a half hour early thinking that would give us plenty of time to find a seat.  The church was a log cabin set back in the trees.  Christmas lights adorned the front door and light poured out of the stained glass windows.  As we approached the door a man stepped out of the darkness.  

“I’m sorry there is no more room in the church.  I can’t let you in.” 

“Surely there is room to stand.  We don’t mind standing.” 

“No standing is allowed.  But we have a video feed set up in the church hall.  You can go over there and watch the service from there.  Or you can sit out here if you wish.”  

He pointed to a small area with several benches, surrounded by trees.  

We headed over to the church hall.  When we walked in we saw that the hall was packed with at least a hundred people.  It was brightly lit and there was a large screen at the front of the room.  There were no flowers, no decorations, no one to lead our song.  As the mass began we realized that we couldn’t even hear what was happening.

Tears welled up in my eyes.  I was so disappointed.  Christmas Eve mass was very important to me.  

“I can’t do this Jon, let’s go.” 

We headed out to the car as I racked my brain for another church in town.  

“There’s a nondenominational church down near the grocery store.  Let’s try there.”  

We parked the car just as the service was getting ready to begin.  As we approached, there once more was a man standing at the door.  But this time, instead of not letting us in he smiled and waved to us and said “Hurry, they’re about to begin.”  When we stepped into the church we were transformed.  The lights were dimmed and there were small white lights around the altar.  Lit candles were everywhere and the altar was covered with flowers.  There was a low hum as people greeted each other, smiles everywhere.  

We stood in the back but the ushers were bringing out more and more chairs.  The pastor went to the front of the church “As you can see we are very crowded tonight.  I would like to ask if any of our parishioners would be willing to go up to the balcony to watch the ceremony.  We have a lot of guests tonight and we don’t want to turn them away as Mary and Joseph were turned away on this beautiful night.”  A bunch of the parishioners went up to the choir loft which opened up more seats for the people still coming through the door.  We sat down in the now open spots and the people around us introduced themselves and welcomed us, shaking our hands and wishing us a Merry Christmas.  My heart swelled and happy tears came to my eyes as the disappointment in the last church dissipated.   We had found our home for Christmas Eve.  I don’t remember much about the service itself except that it included lots of singing of Christmas Carols, a motivational speaker and words from the pastor.  At the end of the service everyone was given a candle and the ushers went from the end of one pew to the next lighting the first candle.  The flame was then passed down the line until the entire congregation was holding a lit candle.  The lights were turned off and we all sang “Silent Night”.  Oh!  It was the most beautiful Christmas Eve service I have ever attended.  And that’s when I decided I would never go back to the Catholic Church.   That’s when I realized it didn’t matter what religion you belonged to.  What was more important was showing love and compassion and inclusion. 

I wrote to both churches.  I wrote to the Catholic Church and described my experience and how disappointed I was in the Church and how it affected me.  I wrote to the other Church and also described what happened to us that night and how welcomed we felt in their church.  The Catholic Church never responded.   The other church did and asked if they could read my letter at one of their services.  I agreed.  I wanted everyone at that Church to know that they had made a difference in this family’s life.  I have not attended mass since.  My church is everywhere.  It is in nature, it is in my home, it is at my work.  It is anywhere I feel welcomed and accepted.  It is deep inside me.   

Boys, do the work to develop your spiritual side.  Do this by spending time in nature, building relationships with people, not technology.  Give of yourself, be kind, take care of your mental and physical health.  When you need help or need to make a difficult decision, pray.  Pray to connect with your soul, your inner wisdom and whoever your God is which will give you answers to your questions about what to do and comfort to know that you are not alone.  Pray to all of those you loved who went before you because it is their spirits that watch over you and try to lead you in the right direction.  You can pray in a lot of different ways –  walk or bike in nature, paddle on the water, sing, work in the garden, write in a journal, practice music, listen to music, share times with friends, sit quietly with no distractions and think.  I’m sure you know what makes you feel like you are in prayer mode.  So do it.  Take the time because it really does help you find answers.  Be thankful and most of all be grateful, for everything that you have no matter how small you think that is.  Every morning count your blessings, thank the world for your friends, and family and love and safety and good health and when you are going through difficult times, remember, it could always be worse.  If you aren’t happy, make it your goal to make someone else happy – then your own happiness will return.  

When Zach was in High School he said to us “I don’t know if I believe in God.  I have plenty of friends who don’t go to church and don’t believe in God and they are perfectly good and happy people.”  

Pop in his infinite wisdom said “Zach, you play saxophone, right?  And you enjoy playing your saxophone, right?” 

“Yeah”.  

“Do you have friends  who don’t play a musical instrument?”  

“Of course” 

“Are they happy and leading a good life?”   

“Yeah, of course they are.  You don’t have to play a musical instrument to be happy.”  

“No, you don’t but don’t you think that by playing saxophone it adds another dimension to your life?  It gives you something that you wouldn’t have if you didn’t play saxophone?” 

“Sure.  It gives me an appreciation for music and it makes me feel better when I play.”  

“Well, that is what your spirituality is.  You don’t have to believe in God to live a good life or even to be happy.  But if you tap into and appreciate your spiritual side, it will add another dimension to your life.”  

That is one wise Pop!