Embrace the Suck
On one of our family summer vacations we went to Squaw Valley, California where the Winter Olympics were held in 1960. We decided to take the ski lift up to the top of the mountain to see the views. It was a beautiful sunny day at the bottom of the lift but as we ascended the fog rolled in and it began to rain. Rising into the fog and rain the black flies started biting. I was in the seat with my sister and we were screaming and complaining as we went higher and higher trying to stay dry. The higher we went the more it rained, the wetter and colder we got and the more the black flies bit. We had no idea where we were in the trip or how much longer we would be on the lift. We couldn’t hear the rest of our family and felt isolated and alone and not just a little afraid. At some point during this really rotten, wet ride up the mountain my sister and I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of our situation. We decided to sing and went through our repertoire. We slapped at black flies and forgot about staying dry. We imagined we were lost on the mountain waiting for our handsome rescuers.
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On another of our family vacations we went down to the Florida keys with our trailer. We had the type of trailer that was a half trailer while you traveled. Once you got to the campground you popped it open to make a full size trailer. Since this was back in the 60’s the top of the pop up trailer we had was just canvas as opposed to the newer models with solid roofs. When we put our trailer up there is one point where everything inside the trailer is exposed for a minute or two while we draped the canvas over the frame. On this particular day we arrived in late afternoon with a black cloud threatening a thunderstorm. My parents hurried out of the car and started putting the camper up as quickly as possible so as to avoid the storm. When the first drops came down they shooed us into the car while they finished up. We watched in horror as right when they were at that point when everything in the trailer was exposed the downpour came. We just knew how upset they were going to be as we sat helplessly in the car watching. But the more they rushed to try to get the tent the rest of the way up, the slower it went. Just then my Mom stopped and looked at the sodden mess and looked at my father who had also stopped. We held our breath for what we thought was going to be a litany of cussing and swearing. But what came next started slow, a little chuckle and then as they wiped the rainwater from their faces their chuckling turned into laughter.
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I had four children and whenever the baby of the family would wake up in the middle of the night to be breastfed, I would look at the clock and say “Sh*t it’s only been two hours” or “Sh*t I only have two more hours to sleep.” Or “Sh*t I’ll never get back to sleep.” It was soul sucking. Then one night I threw a towel over my clock and every time I woke up I would just respond. I didn’t care how long it had been, I didn’t care how much more sleep time I had before I had to get up. I didn’t care if I could get back to sleep. I just took care of my baby.
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I remember my oldest son, Zach telling me once that when he went to boy scout camp it was very primitive. Pit toilets, no showers, tents on the hard ground, no lawn chairs for sitting around the fire and it was cold since they were in the mountains. The second night he was miserable having not had a good night’s sleep the night before and feeling dirty, achy and cold. He had just had an unsatisfying dinner standing up since there were few comfortable places to sit. After dinner he headed to his tent and slowly took off his boots and put on his camp shoes. He found the warmest sweatshirt he had, poured himself a cup of what he thought was hot chocolate but turned out to be more like luke warm chocolate. Then he found a log to balance on near the fire. He told me that he remembers thinking to himself “Well this is the most comfortable I am going to get so I might as well just enjoy it.”
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Sometimes you just have to embrace the suck.