Family Part 2 - My Mom

My Mom, Lucile Evelyn Pfister Wachter was born in 1940.  She was part of the Pfister family that owned and operated Lester Pfister Hybrid Corn.  Now, that may not mean much to you boys but let me tell you that whenever I dated a farm boy from Southern Illinois, they were impressed!  From what I hear Mom was quite the tomboy but when she was 17 she blew that reputation away when she became the first El Paso Corn Queen.  Again, that may not impress you but if someone in Southern Illinois dated the daughter of a Corn Queen they expected great things.  

From a pretty early age my mother acquired the nickname, Squirt from her brother Leo.  She was a puny little thing and he started saying she was a little squirt.  The name stuck with her through High School.  Whenever we went back to El Paso to visit and ran into school friends of hers they would always call her Squirt.  Even her teachers knew her as Squirt.  I’m pretty certain they never really knew her true name. 

When I was in High School I told one of my girlfriends that my Mom was one of my best friends.  This of course was unheard of as any girl between the age of 12 1/2 and 23 can tell you.  But for me it was true.  

What I learned from my mother was to never ever forget what it was like to be THAT age.  And by THAT age, I mean the age of the person you are trying to understand.  Let me give you an example.  When I asked my Mom what time I had to be home after prom she said, “Well, let’s see, prom starts at six, three hours for the dance, two more hours for dinner and an hour for making out - you should be home by midnight.”  I thought an hour for making out was pretty generous.   My Mom may have been 44 at the time but on the inside she was still 17 and remembering what it was like to be in love for the first time. 

All through my dating years my boyfriends loved my Mom.  I was usually the one being dumped in these relationships and I always suspected they let the relationship go on a little bit longer than they should have because they didn’t want to lose my Mom.  One of my college boyfriends wrote me an email the week my Mom died - “Sorry for your loss.  I loved it the time she hit the bars with us in DeKalb.  She was having some fun!!”

Being a wise woman, my Mom didn’t demand much but the things she did insist on were extremely valuable.  When I left for college Mom said “All I ask of you now that you are leaving home is that you write or call once a week for the rest of your life.”  Whoa!  But you know, I did it and I am so glad I did because I feel like it was those calls and letters that kept us connected and kept our relationship so strong.  

Listening well was one of my Mom’s strongest traits.  She may not have always agreed with whatever it was I was telling her but she never offered her opinion unless asked.  She knew how to nod her head and keep her mouth shut.  Although I’m sure once she got off the phone she and my Dad probably had some very animated conversations about some of the decisions I made!  When I could manage to humble myself enough to ask for her opinion it was usually very solid and wise advice indeed.  

Because of her ability to not judge but just enjoy she had a beautiful relationship with all of her sons-in-law and daughter-in-law.  I think I can speak for them when I say that she was a second mother to them. She drew them into her family and embraced them as her own without the slightest hesitation.  

I’m sure you will all agree that Mom was an awesome grandmother.  Just as she made the effort to keep in touch when we left the home, she decided early on that she was going to have a relationship with you boys despite the fact that she lived 500 miles away.  She and Dad visited as often as they could and she always came bearing little paper bags full of goodies for you.  She played more board games and read more children’s books and baked more cookies than I could ever count.  You grew to love her and tease her and treasure her and if we were ever planning a holiday at Grandma and Grandpa’s house you were eager participants even as teenagers and young adults.  

Mom loved a good adventure and camped with us well into her sixties.  She and I would be like two teenie boppers at a slumber party.  We would get to laughing so hard in the tent that we had to cover our mouths to keep from waking you guys.  On one particular camping trip she had to pee in the middle of the night and didn’t want to walk to the bathroom by herself.  Well, I wasn’t going to get out of my nice warm sleeping bag so I told here to go out in the bushes about 10 yards from the tent.  When she came back she was grumping and sighing and when I asked why she said she had peed all over her shoes.  The next night she once again needed to pee in the middle of the night.  She put shoes on and headed out.  Once again she returned but this time giggling as if she was up to something.  When I asked her if she peed on her shoes again she said “No, I wore yours.”  So, what I learned from Mom was to always wear someone else’s shoes when you go to pee in the bushes in the middle of the night. 

Here’s what else I learned from my Mom: 

Divinity tastes good even when you have to use a spoon to eat it coz it didn’t turn out just right. 

When you give a party always write down what you plan on serving for dinner in case you accidentally have too much to drink and fall asleep.  That way the guests can still get their own dinner. 

When you’re taking care of someone who’s sick wash their hands and face with a warm cloth, it will make them feel 100% better. 

Put tinsel on the tree one piece at a time.  

When sewing and you get frustrated gently place the article down and back slowly away from the sewing machine.  Do NOT throw it across the room. 

Volunteer your time and energy to your church and your community. 

Make your bed every morning, change your sheets once a week, wear white shoes only after Memorial Day and before Labor Day. 

Sunday night means pizza for dinner. 

Christmas Eve means Lasagna for dinner. 

Just because you’re 70 doesn’t mean you have to act 70. 

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Strokes and heart disease run in our family so one of my Mom’s biggest fears was that she would have a stroke and end up in a nursing home.  But it was not to be as at the age of 79 she died in her sleep probably of a heart attack.  As much as it was a shock to us all to lose her so suddenly, her prayers were answered as she was very much compus mentis and active up until the night she died.